The Odd Saturday Morning [A photo essay of what I do while Mr Man sleeps it off]

Last night Nelson went out, which is great! I absolutely love when he goes out, for him it’s his way of rejuvenating, having fun with friends, drinking.. and for me, it’s my time to spend a night with my kids, get caught up on waxing my vagina, use a face mask in peace (not worrying that I look like a total weirdo), in the same way- rejuvenate.

This morning I decided to document how awesome I am.

I decided to take a few pictures.

I took pictures of things that I did but was not really thinking about what I was doing.. it was just natural for me. As parents, partners, husbands and wives, I find there’s a lot of shit we do, that we don’t even realize (and may go unnoticed), for people we love.


I woke up- early, and made coffee.

Nelson went to a stag last night, I imagine he’s not going to be up to have coffee with me. I left out one of his favourite mugs, so that when he wakes up the coffee is warm and the mug is ready.


However, his mug was dirty from the night before. Before I started the coffee, I washed out the coffee pot, washed all the dishes by hand from breakfast (we had apples, oatmeal, toast and jam this morning). Dried all of the dishes, by hand - so that he could have his cup.


My son is five and still has “colic tendencies.” Truly a pain in the ass if you ever want to sleep in on Saturday morning. I put on their favourite Disney movie, separated them, and gave them snacks so that they would be quiet long enough for me to clean the house, and so daddy could continue to sleep in. I know that there’s nothing worse waking up to break up a sibling fight.. just like I did, this morning.


The kids seemed to be really into their movie (this rarely happens). I put the youngest in the baby carrier on my back, to accomplish folding five baskets of laundry- so that daddy could have clean underwear, socks, and any shirt he chooses to wear.


I brought the laundry upstairs with a fresh bottle of water. If there’s anything I know, he was RIPPED last night! He’s totally going to need to hydrate when he wakes up. I turned on the fan, to cancel out any background noises of the kids, so that daddy could continue to sleep diagonally on MY side, which never happens. We have a 20-month-old that “needs” to sleep in in the middle/on top of him (like a cat).

Dream on, handsome.

[I wasn’t even going to bring up, how a few days ago he had come home early from work, exhausted.. he was so overtired, he couldn’t fall asleep! I gave him a random blowjob so he could fall asleep... life is good for Mr. Santos!]

Oh! I also sprayed some natural baby spray. It smelled like a homeless person walked into our bedroom.


I hung up a fresh towel for him, a warm clean bathrobe , and sanitized face cloths.


I then sanitize the toilet (because either him or my son can’t seem to pee down the fucking toilet). I sanitized the countertops, organized the toothbrushes, restocked the toilet paper and sprayed some natural bathroom spray, and started the flame less candle, so that it smells fresh and clean.


The kids still seem to be quiet, now they’ve moved on from the movie and are building a castle out of blocks. I know that the youngest only likes to knock down blocks, so I brought her into the shower with me. Showering with a toddler is not fun. It’s awkward when a little person keeps poking at your vagina and saying “penis” while you’re trying to shave your legs. I don’t know if I put conditioner in my hair, but I know for sure that I definitely, only shaved one leg.

After the shower was done, I wrapped up the baby so she could brush her teeth and I could sanitize the shower and organize the soap- not forgetting to pull out the mound of hair from the drain, that I seem to be losing every day.

I finished with quickly putting up my hair, and only throwing on enough foundation to cover up the black circles and bags underneath my eyes.


I gave my kids a peptalk, to be as quiet as they can and get dressed. After we were all dressed, I noticed there were snacks all over the floor, to which I swept the carpet, so I wouldn’t make a noise with a vacuum.


The kids and I put all the toys away, and open the curtains/windows so it would be so fresh and clean.


I searched for the channel changer, and placed it where daddy could see it, so that he wouldn’t have to.


The car wouldn’t start this morning, so on we went for a walk, to a park, so that daddy can continue sleeping- And I could write about our morning.

The kids are having so much fun, and shortly, we will head home so that we can make him breakfast for lunch.

I think the best part, is that by the time we get back, and have lunch, it will be the kids nap times.

I will then have an hour that I can do something that I want to, or finish the rest of the laundry, or start thinking about dinner, or go get a battery for my car.

Daddy will have time to relax, and let the Advil work on his hangover.

I think we’re pretty lucky.

And I think...