We Met- Part 2. "The Before"
Now before I continue, there is something you should know about Nelson and I.
We were both masters of one night stands, meaningless sex and, quite frankly- we were pretty happy with just that. No commitment, no labels, we didn’t have to remember birthdays and there was nobody in my life telling me what to do.
I was the girl who left while you slept, and he was the guy who just never called you. I didn’t want anybody in my life long enough to see my flaws, and Nelson just loved a good time.
But that’s not what this was.. and we both felt something different before meeting.
I started seeing the number 111, everywhere. If I was going to die, I told everyone around me, it had something to do with the number 111, cause it was freakishly everywhere I looked. I seen it more so on my way, and everything to do with being in Toronto, when I was here for work- it was everywhere!
I was doing pretty well for being a single mom. I was working on myself, while also working three jobs all while being a mom. I poured myself into work, kept busy and left no time for distractions.
My only friend was twitter.
I had an abusive and very traumatic previous “relationship” and I was hiding, I was still healing. I was also very bitter and I just wanted to hate men. If you wanted to hit on me or flirt with me, I was going to make sure you got handed what you’ve been dealing to other women. Men were dicks and that’s all I knew. I’ve met every type of guy and I could call your move before you thought of it.
I even had a blog. I went out and then I would write about it, in a humorous -man hating way.
I had a list of everything a man would have to have, if I EVER thought of dating again. It was bulletproof and no man was getting close. It had over 200 things on it, and it was VERY descriptive. It made not texting a guy back so much easier if he wasn’t something on my list.
I was on my way to Ottawa.
It was November, and I was beautiful. I had waxed all of my body, I was wearing my favourite perfume and a brand new dress... everything was new. I was going to see someone, and I was super excited because it had something to do with 111. I was SURE of it.
Three months prior, I went to see a psychic with a few women I worked with. “You’re going to meet a good MAN.” She said. “he is going to have a gray patch of hair” and she pointed to the left side of her cheek.
“Get ready, because when he comes, he’s the one.”
“You are going to be something incredible, I see your name in lights.” She started to tear up... “You are going to do some amazing things, Echo. BUT, you need a man who was made to handle the great things and he’s coming, he just has to make his own choices. I see him, he’s a real man, he’s made for you,he’s strong. and you will marry well.” She said.....
It took me over an hour to find parking, when I finally did, it started to rain and I had to walk 2 miles back to the Rideau Centre.
Long story short, he blew me off.
The rain turned to heavy wet snow and I was annoyed! It the most romantic moment in the world. There I was, standing on the stairs of the parliament building in a gorgeous, royal blue coat with big gold buttons, a brand new dress as snow was falling around me. A photographer asked if he could take pictures of me walking by parliament.
Nobody was kissing me.
I wiped off my lipstick and I got into my truck. I had a babysitter and going home early seemed ridiculous. I opened my twitter because I didn’t have mobile access to my blog, I was just going to have to tweet about my terrible night.
I started my truck, and started my way home.
My GPS froze, I went over the wrong bridge, six fucking roundabouts and there I was- In a blizzard, in the middle of fucking no-where Quebec.
It would take me an hour of driving before I REALLY didn’t know where the fuck I was. I didn’t care, I was just driving, and listening to sad songs. I didn’t want to go home, but I didn’t want to be driving either. I pulled over, in a really creepy Amish “hospital” and pulled out my phone in hopes that I might have service by now.
No service. 11:11pm. I made a wish.
*ding* Twitter: a message from “@ezkilr”
With only one button option: ‘read’
Ugh. “Fucking hate men.” I said under my breath as I threw my phone to the passenger seat and started home as I cried and blasted some music. I was running out of gas, I hadn’t ate dinner and nothing was fucking open. This was the worst night. Thanks, Karma. I know I deserved this one.
I just want to know, WHY do I keep seeing 111? What does it even mean? Fucking bullshit number. Fucking jerk men. Fuck this day. Fuck every guy who let me go. FUCK.
*ding* Twitter: a message from “@ezkilr”
With only one button option: ‘read’
“Ugh. That’s probably just another creepy guy from turkey with broken English, wanting to know what my feet look like.. and he’s going to send me a picture of his weird curved penis asking for pics of my feet.”
*clicks on read*
Message: “Your profile pic, is awesome.” @ezkilr
“It’s a weird feeling, I had to message you. It's been a while but every time I see your picture, I feel like you’re looking right at me.” @ezkilr
No Cell Service.
I made it home by 2:30am that morning.
The Next Morning:
“How is your night going?” @ezkilr
“Ah man, I’ve got the worst period ever! it’s a bloody mess. Being a girl is messy. If I needed tampons and chocolate, would go get them for me?” @EchoMomGoddess
“I think I’m comfortable enough in my man hood to do that for you, echo.” @ezkilr
And I panicked. HOW DOES HE KNOW MY NAME? Fuck sakes. This my ex. He keeps trying to find me. He makes fake profiles, and i was about to leave the country. Fuck, leave me alone!
“How do you know my name?” @ECHOMomGoddess
“I’m sorry, did that freak you out? it’s in your handle, no? I’ve been following you for a long time and I see the tweets your sister sends you.” @ezkilr
“Your tweets are pretty funny.” @ezkilr
Oh Jesus... it’s not him. thank fuck.
“Thanks! Wits never sag ;)” @EchoMomGodess
“So, You have kids?” @ezkilr
“Yeah.. 5. All multi-racial. I would love to have a child from all parts of the world, where are you from?” @EchoMomGoddess
“Hahaha awesome. Are you trying to scare me away?” @ezkilr
Fuck. He’s on to me.
“I’m gonna be honest with you.. I just have a really BIG list of things you would need to be and I’m not wasting my time blah blah blah...” @EchoMomGoddess
“Ask away.” @ezkilr
That’s 26 days and I hadn’t received one random dick pic. (I couldn’t see a guy if he sent Dick pics.) almost a month and he hadn’t asked for a single titty picture. (Or pic of my feet.)
By now, we’ve been talking every day, all day and he has yet to answer a question wrong... every time I ask him a question, I’m expecting the usual answers, and I can never predict what he’s going to say! In fact, he says exactly what I didn’t even know I needed to hear.
With a gust of “OMG I want to meet you!” Confidence, I asked what he was doing tomorrow?
MOMD: “I’m going out with a bunch of guys to a Gentleman’s Dinner, it’s something we do every year, you?”
“Ahh you know... a huge rave. partying it up.. the usual... oh well, there’s always next Friday....”
MOMD: “are you asking me out on a date, Echo?”
*Blushing, heart pumping... omg! Pfft no.. why would I ask YOU lol I’m too cool.... “yes, yes I am.” My fingers messaged him.
MOMD: “It’s about time. Next Friday sounds great, what do you want to do?”
“What?! “It’s about time?” Why didn’t you ask me then! I’ve been waiting this whole time!”
MOMD: “I didn’t want to freak you out again. You seemed upset when I said your name. I’m just moving at your pace, Echo.”
Fuck. The way he says my name. Dammit.
We had talked sun rise till ... well, 7:30pm, that was my country girl bed time. What? I had kids! Okay, maybe THE ODD “9:30.”
I couldn’t orgasm. It’s something we were talking about. Sex wasn’t important to me. I was going to meet him, and it wasn’t for sex. (Something happened to me when I was younger, and I had lost my clit, and one half of my labia. I have no feeling, it didn't help that I had two C-sections and all of my nerves from my belly button down, were gone.)
I almost backed out of meeting him a couple times because I have body issues.. But he made me feel so safe.
MOMD: “Echo, I don’t know the kid of guys you’ve been meeting? But I understand your fears. I’ve struggled with my weight as well.....”