Why am I flipping out so much?
As parents, no matter what our intentions are, sometimes our buttons get pushed and we lose our shit.
We flip our lid and say/do things we wouldn't normally do. (Yell/scream/say hurtful things.)
It's human to "flip out." And it's okay! Don't be so hard on yourself! Did you know the brain literally flips out? It flips out so that the coordinating parts don't control the lower parts.
Yes, it's for real.
What the flip is all about:
One way of understanding what "flipping your lid" is, is that your brain has a low part, and a high part.
Sometimes the coordinating part, right behind your forehead stops working. When this happens, you flip the lid and the lower area is no longer controlled and regulated by the higher area and are free to do whatever they want. Flipping your lid is when the part of the brain that coordinates everything, stops working for a bit and you act different than you normally would.
Now that you know it's not your fault, your brain did it, it is your responsibility to start trying to understand the buttons or triggers that create this "flip out" state.
Being ignored, tired, or hungry? Once you figure out what ticks you off, pay attention to what it feels like when you're about to flip your lid.
- Do you feel hot?
- Jaw gets tight? Grind your teeth?
- Your voice gets more stern
- Heart pounds?
- Breathing quickens or gets heavy?
If you do flip your lid, remove yourself from the situation so you don't do any harm. (Physical or verbal/ emotional)
- Walk away from your child (You can say "I'm getting angry, I'm going to take a little break and then I'll come back to you.")
- Get some fresh air
- Drink some water
- Bring yourself together by making a connection without blaming.
- Say to yourself, "I'm sorry brain, I'm learning, I'm trying to do better. What made me lose my marbles? What can I do instead?"
Always come back to the situation and make a connection with your child. Don't blame, just own what happened is part of learning and you are trying not to do it.